lacksgrace | [ic contact]

I don't mean it like that either. [ He runs a hand through his hair, sitting up again. It's kind of dark where he's at, so the shadows contort his face a bit. ] I've done the whole sacrificing out of what I thought was love thing. I ended up in Hell. This, uh. I think this is something much bigger than that. [ And he rubs at the back of his neck. ]

So when I say I fucked up, I mean it's worse. I dunno if I can fix it, and I need to. It's the sort of thing I'd go to Hell for all over again, and it wouldn't even matter because it's that important to me.

[She listens, mostly because that's what she's good at. She's always been the one to listen. Find the cues, learn the small details because that's what gets her the information she needs. To get to Sam, to find Dean, to figure out what the angels want with one of their broken soldiers...

Her fingers rub to her chin, thinking about what he says and trying to figure out if she can even try to figure out what to say. All of her humanity has been relearned. The examples she's seen aren't exactly shining, but she knows that what he says is important. That the effort he wants to put forth is probably more important than actually succeeding. It feels familiar. Trying even if you know it's going to be a mistake, even if you know you're screwed no matter what. Maybe that's the point.]

What makes you think wanting that - knowing that it might not work - but still wanting to fix it doesn't count for anything?

Edited (derp. she doesn't find netflix she finds details.) 2013-04-11 14:57 (UTC)

Humans are-- [ He lets out a breath, trying to word it right so there are no misconceptions. Bells isn't too good with them, not when it counts, so he's sure it's going to get lost in translation somewhere. ] They're not like us. [ Or him. Or whatever. He doesn't know how Meg's version of demon works. ] I mean, wanting to is never the same as actually doing it to them. Most of 'em need that reassurance, I guess. That everything's gonna be okay even if it's not.

Existing forever gives you a different perception of things. As much as I wanna forget... It might not even happen. You lose people, and if they do come around, they're usually not the same.

[She forgets... has forgotten a lot. Time sort of bleeds and the bodies she's chosen over the years, the people she's just taken to be her own have merged into one long lifeline that no one would want to hear about.]

I think there's something to be said for intent, though. Having the intent and going through with it, even if you fail - that's better than not doing anything at all, right?

Maybe. [ The word is kind of dry in his mouth, and he licks at his lips, sighs and rubs his hands through his hair. ] It's not like I'm gonna sit here and hope something happens. 'Cause it won't. I just, uh.

[ There's a bitter smile. ] I'm no good at waiting around.